23 Shortest Funny Jokes: I Died Laughing!

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Ask your friends for their funniest jokes, and they might not have too many. But, ask Reddit, and you’ll have more than you can handle! These are actually hilarious.

1A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

2It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs

because they always take things literally.

3My granddad has the heart of a lion

and a life time ban from the Edinburgh zoo.

4What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus.

5A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand

and says, “Make me one with everything.”

6I’m addicted to brake fluid,

but I can stop whenever I want.

7“This is your captain speaking,

AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.”

8Two fish are sitting in a tank.

One looks over at the other and says: “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”

9I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.

He told me to stop going to those places.

10What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

11What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

12Two whales walk into a bar.

The first one says, “Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh”.
The next whale says, “Shut up, Steve. You’re drunk.”

13I hate Russian dolls…

so full of themselves.

14What’s E.T. short for?

Because he’s only got little legs.

15Wanna hear a joke about Potassium?

(whether they say ‘yes’ or ‘no’): K.
Want to hear a joke about sodium? Na.

16What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes *whack* “damn” and a skydiver goes “damn” *whack*

17A baby seal walks into a club.

18I went on a once in a lifetime holiday.

Never again.

19Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie,

except one. He’s never gonna give you Up.

20It takes a lot of balls to golf like me.

21Time flies like an arrow,

fruit flies like a banana.

22Shout out to the people

who want to know what the opposite of in is.

23What’s the purpose of reindeer?

To make the grass grow, sweetie.

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